I threw up in your sock drawer

Nessa just tagged me with this hilarious meme. Brace yourself Nessa.

Dear Nessa,
I don't really know how to tell you this, our socks don't match. I think I realized it when I threw up in your sock drawer in your car and I saw you drive over my Blink 182 CD. I'm sure you're frostbitten enough to understand taht I get turned on only by garbage men. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory. You should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ass and I'm scratching my butt as you read this.

Go milk a cow,
bem69


Here's how you do it:

Dear (the person who tagged you),
I don't really know how to tell you this,(1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning your (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12), Name

1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forrest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chr�tien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat - shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your suicide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself

Again, tags galore for Choul, Milkberry, Mira, Kusa, Mariuca, Shemah, Emila

MM: Let's Stay Together

Yeah, I've joined Music Monday, I don't have a lot of explanations for my song choices but these songs really grab me, more or less. To start it off, Al Green's Lets Stay Together. I included a cover version by Boyz II Men straight from their Throwback album which is a exceptional too!

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. One simple rule, leave ONLY the actual post link here. You can grab this code at LJL Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.

Black And White Tag Time

Another tag for me and this time its from Marzie a.k.a Mariuca. What's the tag about? I have to put up a pic of me or my loved ones in black and white. As I don't have a black and white camera, I did some editing to my colored picture. Yes, that was supposed to be a joke, lame don't you think? Anyway here goes:


} Start Copy

"A good Snapshot stops a moment from running away."

When you photograph people in colour you photograph their clothes. But when you photograph people in B&W, you photograph their souls! ~Ted Grant

} End of Copy

Rules:

Copy the quotes above from start copy to end Copy.
Replace the Photograph with your own or your loves ones’ Black and White captured moments that you want to cherish for the rest of your life.

Pic description:
This was taken in front of one of the many placeholder posters available at CapSquare. Choul and I thought that the solid colour backgrounds make excellent backdrops. If I have time, I'll post up the other pics, in another post.

I'm tagging the usual suspects and then some: Choul, Kusa, Mira, Milkberry, Wahdi, Rames, Anny, Spiff and Bain

Nuffnang doesn't earn me anything

You know, I've been wondering, of all the ads I've placed (I don't earn much, more like a few cents a day), Nuffnang doesn't earn me anything. Your first assumption would probably be I'm an impatient guy, but you see, previously, I did earn from Nuffnang, and I did score a few ad campaigns, and I have a balance of RM12 in my account. Then, the alcohol-related ads came in, and since I don't condone alcohol, I msg-ed or email a Nuffnang representative stating that I don't and won't take any alcohol ads.

They obliged, which is good, until another alcohol related ad campaign came in, and again I had to notify them. I'm not sure what happened but right after that, I didn't get anymore ad campaigns, and hence, I'm stuck with the so-close-yet-so-far amount of RM12.07.

I'm not implying anything. Just sayin'.

To the other Nuffnangers, ever experienced this? If so, how did you jumpstart your ad campaign machine?

Anny's Show Your Picture Tag

Anny tagged me yesterday so I thought I should post this up, being the sporting guy that I am (cough). She was tagged by Bain who started this tag. Yes, very straightforward blog post here, since I'm currently battling the urge to hit the sack. Over to the directions of the tag (Anny, cut and paste ya, hope you don't mind):

1. "tampal gambar korang" (post your picture)

Since Anny had a pic of her back and her bag, I thought "Hey, I have a picture of my back, my bag and a hostile cat". At least there's a cat to differentiate from her pic huhuhu. Oh, no I wasn't irritating the cat, the cat was just pawing me playfully instead of clawing me. I saw the cats (yes, cats) playing with each other so I thought I'd say hello.

2. "explain kenapa korang pakai baju dalam gambar tersebut" (explain why you are wearing the clothes in the picture..)

Well, I'm wearing the red T because you know what they say, red makes you go faster, its the color of speed. The shorts is skillfully avoiding sea water and that one open back pocket is intentional, its more aerodynamic. The bag? To carry the cameras.

Kudos to my wife for taking this great picture.

I guess I have a lot of pics of myself here, but again, I'll follow Anny's post and post a pic of me up close and personal. There you go:

Peeps I tag are Choul, Blisskat, Kusa, Milkberry and Wahdi

My, What a Buttery Day

Choul went back by LRT today as she wanted to try whether its a feasible mode of transport. After picking her up, somehow, Marzie's blog post on Chicken Rice Shop's Grilled Butter Chicken suddenly appeared on my mind. Being a fan of chicken and fan of most food that have 'butter' in its name must have been one of the reasons I had a hunger pang for butter chicken. I told Choul, lets go eat butter chicken, and she agreed, and so we went to Tesco's franchise.

We went for the 2 pax meal deal for RM25.20 including tax, and I had to forget about my anti-rice diet again. Heck, I wanted to enjoy my butter chicken. Anyway, I'm not good at reviewing food, all I can say is that it tastes real good, but they weren't that generous with the butter sauce. The sauce is sprinkled with curry leaves and I think that adds a bit of spice, which is more than welcome for both of us. The taste reminds me of the buttermilk dishes sold in Tesco Extra food courts.

Oh today, is one of the Butterscotch days. Just last week, I was introduced to Gardenia's Delicia Butterscotch bread, not by anyone though, but by word of mouth. Its like the talk of the town, that this particular bread is addictively delicious. Being a sweet tooth myself, I had to try it. I went to my regular grocery store and I found out that they are only sold on Mondays and Thursdays, and even on those days, they get sold out pretty fast. Everyone in my household loved it (except for my niece) and the two packs I bought went by blazingly fast.

If you haven't tried it, just grab them on Monday and Thursday mornings on places that sell Gardenia breads. There's nothing to lose (only fat to gain), besides it could be a limited run.

Like Gardenia boasts, it is Betul-betul Sedap (Really really delicious). Try it!

Sex-cellent Product Packaging

I was browsing at Brands Outlet for some bargains on clothes or shoes, when I came across this..

Now, I don't know about you, but when you see this in front of the packaging, what's your first guess on what's inside the box?

Clothes?

Lingerie?

Motorbike?

Pistachios?

Well, I wouldn't have guessed it, but I had the urge to buy this product no matter what. I wonder why.

If you guessed a security money belt, that's exactly it. Well done, give yourself a pat on the back :)

And no, I didn't buy it, silly, but one things for sure, I didn't see that security money belt on her at first glance, or rather, at first few glances hahaha.

Wondermilk Weekend

Last weekend, we went to this cupcake store in Damansara. Yep, this was last weekend, I was so busy I didn't have time to post this blog entry. Anyway, its a well-known cupcake store in Malaysia. A band of designers, I think, decided they could sell their designs using cupcakes as their canvases. Cupcakes are a phenomenon here and if the designs make them more appealing, they should work right. Well, I don't know about their business personally, but it looks like they're running quite a successful business. Oh, I forgot to tell you, they call themselves cuppacakes by wondermilk, and that should be familiar with many Malaysians.

Choul has always wanted to visit this store, considering how they are quite famous in the Internet and from word of mouth (including word of blogs). The thing is, we usually pass Damansara but Choul just recalls that the shop is just opposite of houses. We did try to look for it, two times in fact, but gave up since we really can't see the shop, even when driving at the average speed of a walking man. Nevertheless, the third time, Choul had some backup from her friend, Zet, and finally we found the shop. Its no wonder we couldn't find the shop, its blocked by two huge potted trees (if I recall correctly).

The shop really oozes vintage design, exterior and interior-wise. The attention to detail is amazing, and you know straight up they've designed every nook and cranny of the store to create the same theme and ambience. Besides cupcakes (or cuppacakes), the store sells other bits like trinkets, clothes and Lomo cameras. Its very well thought out, and I'm quite impressed with these Malay designers. I should really think of using my design background as a means to publicise any sort of business I could run in the future.

The cupcakes were, of course, delicious, albeit a bit on the expensive side, at RM4.50 a pop for the normal sized cupcakes. It's not too big either, more bite-sized than medium-sized as the call it, or was it maxi. Doesn't matter, at least Choul had her wish granted and we bought 2 cupcakes each, mine was peanut butter chocolate and blueberry cheese while Choul picked up the tiramisu and chocolate marshmallow.

I enjoyed the visit, even if it was brief, it did inspire me to run my own business with great design, while I happily indulge my sweet tooth. It's all good.

If you wanna check out their place, check out their page at http://ilovecuppacakes.com/ and check out their flickr at http://www.flickr.com/photos/cuppacakes/

April 7th Ups and Downs

7th april is my dad's birthday, and this year he's 67. How time flies. I'm turning the big three oh in a month's time myself. As usual we'd have a family dinner but this time we had dinner delivered at home, in the form of Domino's Pizzas. But before that, Choul (my wife to those who don't know) met an accident on the way home from work. She went home early as well, so that we can celebrate our dad's birthday with the rest of the family. Unfortunately, she was in the middle of a crash caterpillar. A Naza Ria in front was trying very hard to get into a lane and most of the drivers were not letting it in. When the Ria did get to (forcefully) enter that lane, the traffic started stopping and the Ria made an emergency brake. Choul was at the back, braked quickly, and although it was very close, she managed to not hit the Ria. Just as she was about to breathe a sigh of relief, a Wira at the back slams her car forcing her car to hit the Ria as well. The impact made her hit the steering wheel, with no airbags, hard. Luckily, she left with only a bruise, and for that I thank God. It could have been a lot worse. A Perodua tow truck was just passing on the opposite side just in time for it to make a U-turn to help Choul.

The damage on the car

I met her up at the police station to make a report, where all things went quite smoothly, with the assistance of the Perodua claims consultant. Well, not so smooth, since the police sergeant on duty was a typical chauvinistic condescending cop. I wasn't by her side that time but all I can say is he wasn't professional. Of course, we left it at that, since you know what they say, don't mess with the cops. Besides it was already dark and we just wanted to go home.

Back to the earlier story, we went back home, had a feast of Domino's Pizzas, had a great time celebrating our dad's 67th birthday. Insya-Allah, panjang umur and murah rezeki for him. So at least, it wasn't just a depressing day. We did get to enjoy ourselves by the late evening.

Ooo mai, pardon the mess

Oh, and I guess you should now know, which is the up and which is the down of this blog post.

Invaders from Wigon

Disclaimer: Warning! This post contains tech language and jargons that may bore you to death.

Sounds like a great title for a B-grade sci-fi flick eh? Well, unfortunately, its not. A popup by my antivirus program states that I have a virus in my PC. And I don't take viruses quite well. Even if the virus is harmless, it just kills me to have a virus lurking somewhere in my PC. Even if I can postpone the cleaning to another day, I'd still think about how annoying it is to have a virus. Yes, I can have a fire hazard of intertwining cables but I can't tolerate viruses or spyware or whatever shit of form it comes in.

The virus was defined as a trojan, the specific name for it is Win32.TrojanDownloader.Wigon.BS trojan. As with any other viruses, it has its annoying method of staying safe inside your Windows machine. For my case, my antivirus warns me of a number of sys files (eg. aspi64.sys) that is created by a random-numbered TMP file in my C:\Documents and Settings\myusername\Local Settings\temp folder. Deleting this TMP won't do jack shit since it will recreate itself as another random-numbered TMP which then creates more annoying sys files.

After checking the startup files, I found an .exe file that is named as my username. I name myself Jeeb in my PC, so its called Jeeb.exe. Jeeb happens to be my name and its all the more annoying since I have to get rid of a virus that is named after me. Damn it! Oh, I did download Malwarebytes' Anti-Malware scanner, but it didn't detect this particular trojan, but instead, other infected files.

Jeeb.exe was actively running according to the Windows Task Manager. Usually, you can click a process and then have the option of "End Task" to kill the process. USUALLY. In this case, when I click Jeeb.exe to highlight it, in less than 1 sec, it loses focus, meaning it un-highlights itself. That means, I have less than 1 sec to click End Task, and Yes (the confirmation of ending the task). I did manage to get click both within less than 1 sec, only to find out that it doesn't matter! You can't end the process.

My last resort was to rename the file to something else, in this case Jeeb.exebak, and thankfully, after restarting the PC, it worked. No more annoying notifications of the impending doom of my PC.

Yeah, I know, its still lying dormant in my PC, a lurking Wigon, somewhere in my harddisk. But as long as my PC is working, and I don't have to go into safe mode, it's all good. For the moment, that is.

Thing is, I have no idea how I got the virus in at the first place. My guess is its because I clicked on one of those spam websites in my shoutbox. So folks, be weary of sites that end with .cc, (eg. ipchicken.co.cc) and uses url-shortening services like simurl.com or tinyurl.com. I will personally delete and dismiss anyone with that kind of url. The other way the virus could possibly get through is when I was Entrecard dropping, I went inside a website that freely distributes this viruses via Firefox. I don't go into dodgy sites so make no mistake, it came from a website. And it came through Firefox, supposedly the safest browser in the planet. I guess thats no longer the case.

'Til my next PC woes

How to center your Adsense ads between blog posts

Ever felt annoyed with the Adsense ads you put in between blog posts? By default, the ads are aligned to the left, which can really break the flow of your wonderful blog design. Well, I don't have a wonderful blog layout but I would like to see the ads in my posts aligned to the center, instead of to the left. Let me remind you that I enabled my Adsense ads via Blogger's widget, and not via manual codes. Thankfully, there is an answer. A simple solution but its a big deal for me. Here are the steps:

1. Open the blogger Dashboard, click Layout then click Edit HTML
2. Tick on the box that says 'Expand Widget Templates"
3. I can't paste the code here so, check out the image below and retype the code

My ad dimensions are 468px by 60px so please input the exact dimensions of your ads and then click Save Template. That's all you need to do.

There we have it, the solution to center your ad between posts.

Thanks to Milkberry for finding this. Credit to Lawny of http://lawnydesignz.blogspot.com and
http://lawnys-templates.blogspot.com.

Foldees "Where No Man Has Gone Before" Entry

Its time again for foldees' latest contest, and this time the theme is entitled "Where No Man Has Gone Before". The premise is simple, you have to design a birthday card with a sci-fi (science fiction) theme. Since there's a lot of sci-fi flicks out there, I decided to spoof the most recognisable sci-fi flick/franchise known to man, Star Wars (now now, don't get angry Trekkies). Check it out:

A Jedi Special Day

Cover of the card

Inside of the card

Description:
At the cover, Yoda is depicted as talking to a budding Jedi, which is directed to the audience, I guess they should be called Jedience? Ok lame joke. Anyway, he speaks in his usual grand master-ish manner and says that its a special day today, with a serious face, the face that he usually makes when he gives advice or orders.

When the reader opens the card, Yoda surprises them with two things, a special unique light saber that is remodeled in such a way that it functions as cake knife. He presents this blue saber "knife" to the reader WHILE actively floating the birthday cake, while smiling too. And that clearly reminds you why he's a master Jedi. R2D2 gets out of hiding and joins the fun (equipped with party hat) all because its party time for A Jedi Special Day.

Before the Star Wars experts ask, there are two reasons why I chose a Blue Light Saber.

1. Its supposed to be a gift from Yoda, so its not his Green Light Saber.
2. Try as I might, the Blue Light Saber version wins hands down when printed

Rating has just started on 1st of April, and it will run 'til the 1st of May, there's still plenty of time to rate, so if you have the time, please rate the cards, and if you like my card, show your support and give me a good score. To start, go here and make sure you've registered with Foldees. This time around its more or less 40 cards in the running, so it won't be that tedious :) besides you get a free card.

So, ladies and gentleman, please head on down to www.foldees.com and start rating! Gimme a good score and please rate the others fairly.

Remember, don't rate this blog post, please go to www.foldees.com and rate my card there. I don't gain anything for the contest if you rate my blog post :)


Thanks!

How do you center your Adsense ads between blog posts?

I've been trying to organise my Adsense so that it generates some sort of income, instead of the $0.00 I see every day for a couple of years. I tried googling this, but I'm getting quite annoyed that my Adsense, so since I'm getting quite a few traffic via Entrecard, to the Blogger pros out there, how do you center your Adsense ads between blog posts?

I installed the ads through the options Blogger gives. Why? Because I have no idea how to put it manually and have that option of putting ads on alternating posts. So, anyone out there, please share your thoughts since I'm pretty sure its not a difficult issue.

Update:
Well, I got the answer thanks to Milkberry, my very own blogger support center heheheh. She went to have a look at the Blogger Help group and in less than a minute, found the solution. So much for Google searchin' techniques.